Excerpt from Don't Read This Shit Below

By Jester Derla

 

Okay, I think I have your attention now. I’m trying really hard to write a book introduction but I actually have no idea what I’m doing. It’s a good thing that we have Google now. I read in an article that the first thing you should do when writing an introduction is to draw your readers in. If you are still reading this, good. I didn’t get that from BoredPanda.

Who actually reads these book introductions anyway? Any book can do without it. I’ve also read somewhere that it’s one of the 10 most useless things ever. So why am I doing this? Well, I also don’t know really. Wait, now I remember. The wife made me do it. I promised her that I would do the book intro for the boys. So here it goes.

Prior to college, I attended an all-boys school. Looking back, I remember having next-to-nothing experience or knowledge about women. The only interaction I had with them was inside our school service, which catered to the nearby all-girls school. But even then, any encounter was lame.

No afternoon went by without the school bus being filled with shouting, bickering, insulting and crying. I couldn’t remember why all of us were fighting. Maybe the girls didn’t like us reeking of sweat due to playing around all day. The boys’ rough housing inside the bus wasn’t a pretty sight, not to mention the nonstop teasing just for the heck of it.

You can then say that from an early age, I already don’t get women. And this went on all throughout my teenage years. I think I only began to understand women when I became a full-grown adult. Well, kind of. Okay, I’m lying. I still don’t get them sometimes, despite living with one.

 

To be continued...

Photo by Aceron Studios

 

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Edits: Jacquie Bamba S. Zamora

Before I Do Anthology

Philippine Copyright © 2016 by Katherine C. Eustaquio-Derla

Kath C. Eustaquio-Derla is a journalism graduate from the University of Santo Tomas in Manila, Philippines. She wrote Bedroom Blog by Veronica, a relationship blog for Cosmopolitan Philippines from 2009 to 2011, which covers most of her single dating life. In 2015, she published her first book Before I Do. She’s passionate about coffee, red wine, books and Mad Men. She stopped collecting hearts when she got married in 2013 and went back to collecting Archie Comics ever since. Send the author a tweet @kceustaquio.

Disclaimer: This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, places or persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any written, electronic, recording, or photocopying without written permission of the publisher or author. The exception would be in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles or reviews and pages where permission is specifically granted by the publisher or author.

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