Excerpt from Only For Now

By Antonio Tan


I do get sad. Most of the time, I do get lonely. Let’s not even start talking about jealousy. That’s what I feel every time I see couples looking happy and cute together.

Sometimes, my feelings reach a point that I feel like I can’t breathe. But well, I do try to be happy for them.

Wanting hurts. I want what they have so badly. I want love. I want a girl who I can hold and be happy with.

I’m 31 years old and I’m single. It sounds like a big problem but really, I’m okay with it. I guess many people are somehow waiting for “The One” and taking their chances if they feel there’s something worth chasing.

Maybe I watched too many movies. Maybe I listened to too many songs. Maybe all these could explain why I always feel this way.

My all-time favorite movie is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you haven’t seen it yet, then please do so. It will probably confuse you at first, but I swear, it’s going to grow on you.

The truth is, I really am just a sensitive guy. I am too emotional. I take everything to heart.

Everyone here now is either getting married or having babies. I’m not going to lie. I’m not going to say that it doesn’t bother me. It makes me think and wonder sometimes.


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About Antonio

Antonio Tan was born and raised in the Philippines but has lived in Canada for the past 13 years. He enjoys watching concerts and making people around him smile and laugh. He also loves pets.

Writing has always been one of his passions but will never consider himself a “writer,” just someone who writes. He believes that kindness is the most beautiful and most important thing in the world. And he will keep giving it to the world.


Thank you for supporting this book! Share it online and include #BeforeIDoAnthology! This 2-in-1 book was self-published in Manila, Philippines in December 2016. Before I Do Anthology is available at National Bookstore branches in the Philippines.

Edits: Jacquie Bamba S. Zamora

Before I Do Anthology

Philippine Copyright © 2016 by Katherine C. Eustaquio-Derla

Kath C. Eustaquio-Derla is a journalism graduate from the University of Santo Tomas in Manila, Philippines. She wrote Bedroom Blog by Veronica, a relationship blog for Cosmopolitan Philippines from 2009 to 2011, which covers most of her single dating life. In 2015, she published her first book Before I Do. She’s passionate about coffee, red wine, books and Mad Men. She stopped collecting hearts when she got married in 2013 and went back to collecting Archie Comics ever since. Send the author a tweet @kceustaquio.

Disclaimer: This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, places or persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental. Image from Pexels.com.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any written, electronic, recording, or photocopying without written permission of the publisher or author. The exception would be in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles or reviews and pages where permission is specifically granted by the publisher or author.

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