Excerpt from Opposites Attract. And In Marriage, They Don't Always Attack
By Anne Espinola
A few years ago, I told myself that if I don’t get to marry someday, I will just adopt a dog. Most of us—if not all—are scared of being alone and not having a companion in life.
I think, despite today’s choices, many people still feel the same way. And sometimes, we become too paranoid that we start thinking of not just plan A or B, but also plans C to Z on what to do with our lives when we see ourselves inching towards that path.
And so, after a decade in an on-and-off relationship, my long-time boyfriend finally proposed to me. Even during our boyfriend-and-girlfriend years, I always tagged ourselves as the “Man from Mars and Woman from Venus” type from one of the few books I’ve read.
We have a lot of differences. In fact, we are the opposite of each other. But they also say that opposites attract, right? That is why he was attracted to me in the first place. No, I’m not kidding.
But beyond all that physical attraction, the greatest challenge is how to make the relationship and married life work.
We all have different personalities. It is true that you cannot find a person whom you can describe as “perfect,” even by your own standards. And this is probably the main reason why many couples argue that sometimes, relationships end in separation.
Before you decide to get married, both of you must learn the real meaning of the word “acceptance.” You cannot change or at least try to change someone just because he or she doesn’t suit your personal preferences. If someone decides to change for you, that’s a bonus. “Your husband will always be your biggest and oldest child that requires most adult supervision.” This is a funny yet very true quote that many married women can relate to as a truth.
Marriage is a continuous learning process about your spouse. It is very important to negotiate and compromise. Making promises and keeping them don’t always happen 100 percent of the time but both must learn to forgive. And if you can, forget.
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